Grapevine Fires
by soirdefete
Summary: Bella taught herself to always be ready for disappointment, so she knew her new life in her old town was too good to be true. But she wasn't prepared for the person she became. A story about finding a glove that fits and sewing up the one that didn't.
1. Prologue

Grapevine Fires  
Prologue

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

"The worst of them was the best of me. And that's why it had to be this way, why I had to be the one to stop this. I brought out the worst in them, and for a while I was proud of that. I wanted their worst, because it gave me some sort of leverage. Because all I ever had to offer was woefully inadequate.

"I can see now. I manipulated them in the worst of ways. All I wanted was their attention, I was high on it, sick with it. And I sure as hell took my time weaning myself off of it. This isn't a love story, or even a love triangle. This is a story of how a plain, mild-mannered girl tripped for the first time, high on affection and attention, and the numbing pain that came from coming down.

"Because everyone had to come down before I did."


	2. Chapter 1 He was always distracted

**AN:** Thanks for giving my little story a try. I'd mostly like to let the story speak for itself but I do hope you enjoy what you read as I attempt to delve into what it was like to be a high schooler with obsessions, insecurities, and a boy-sized Achilles heel. This will be an all human take on Bella's story. Basically, there's no magic, but there are definitely monsters. Feedback is much appreciated, as there is no beta for me at the moment- my usual one is currently suffering through her last days as an undergrad.

_Disclaimer:_ It's totally not mine.

**Chapter 1.** He was always distracted

Bella lay prone in her bed. Like she had yesterday. And the day before. How long had it been now? She could hear them talking at school as if she was there, ghosting among the lockers and dodging backpacks. _"I bet she's still crying her eyes out,"_ and _"Maybe she shouldn't have stuck her nose up at us. Now that the Cullens are gone, she'll have no one."_ Renee would have said that this was pretty self-centered of her. The people at school probably didn't even realize that she was gone. The voices in her head started to sound less like Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley and more like her own, miserable, nagging voice.

Elizabeth Bennett wouldn't have stood for this, she thought, sighing into her pillow. Or laid for this. Whatever she was doing. Which was nothing.

She rolled over in frustration and screamed into the comforter. Maybe she _should_ go back to school. Her legs were starting to ache from being in this bed so long. Glancing at the window from where she lay, the comforter pulled around her like a security blanket, she wondered if she could. It would be so much easier to stay in bed.

Edward left me, she thought, trying the words out in her head. It might be days before she could say it aloud. Edward left.

"Laying around isn't going to make it any better, Bells," Charlie had said the night before, to which Bella had an organized rebuttal.

"For one thing, I won't have to deal with the pity looks at school," she began. "I won't have to deal with making amends with Jessica, who still has a grudge because she thought Ed- he- would date her. She'll probably blame me for his leaving. I won't have to make my truck move in this freaking _weather-_"

He cut off her rant before she sounded even more like a mad woman. "Bells. You're nearly an adult, and it's been an entire week. I want to see some effort today, this has gone on long enough. You're a Swan. Pull yourself up in the morning, get in that damned truck, and get to school. You're not going to lose all those scholarships because of that _boy._"

_Boy_ sounded worse than Bella's most creative curses rolling off of Charlie's tongue, and she winced, but nodded. What else could she do? Charlie was putting on his Dad hat.

But he was right. She did have to keep her grades up. Yes. Grades. Grades she could focus on. Except not. When she closed her eyes it was green eyes and _"We're leaving."_ Over and over.

So when she looked out the window warily that morning, she was surprised and not even a little thrilled to see Jacob Black sitting in his Rabbit across the street, like a freaking- _fucking, Bella, you're not that fre- fucking girl anymore_- babysitter. Anger flared inside of her, white hot and almost refreshing, but she didn't take the time to note it was the first thing other than despair and mild lethargy she'd felt since last week.

Instead, she tore the comforter off, and threw open the window. It also hadn't been open since last week, and the cold November air was shocking. "Jacob Black, what the fuck are you doing staking out my house?"

He leaned out the open window, ashing a cigarette and looking up at her. "I thought I'd take you to school."

She stared.

He stared.

When a whole minute passed without explanation, she opened her mouth to tell him what she thought of that. But he cut her off. "Get in the shower first, though, I can smell you from here. Jesus, you hippie."

She was surprised to feel her lips almost twitching into a smile. They didn't quite make it, probably because the muscles had atrophied, but that was okay.

"Fuck you, Jacob Black." He waggled his eyebrows at her and she huffed, closing the window. Delicately, she raised her arm, and took a sniff. She could almost hear Jacob's laughter from downstairs. Perhaps a shower was in order.

"You done crying over that asshole?" he asked when she finally made it outside. It had only taken a half-hour- it wasn't as though she had a reason to make an effort. Shower, sweatshirt, ponytail, poptart.

"Always so sensitive. I don't cry, thank you very much." She got in, mostly because there was a light drizzle that could turn the roads icy later and she hadn't been lying to Charlie about that truck.

"Sure, sure. You always used to cry when I'd pull your hair too hard."

Really? She thought. It was too early to be waxing nostalgic. She took a large bite of her poptart rather than gracing him with an answer and looked out the window, sulkily. These gray rainy mornings had been _his_ favorite- as numerous as they were.

_She checked her phone again, just to make sure she hadn't imagined it. The text from Edward was still there. "Meet me in the clearing, you know the one. You don't want to make it to history today anyway." She had never sped to school before, and had almost gotten into an accident on the rain-slick roads. She hoped whoever it was didn't recognize her and tell Charlie. But damned if she was going to miss a forest rendezvous with Edward. _

_Pulling up the hood of her raincoat, Bella hopped out of the cab and stumbled only a little, hurrying when she finally found her footing towards the forest that faced the back of the football field. They'd skipped classes back there once or twice, when Bella was feeling risky, which she never really had felt until she'd met Edward. She knew just what clearing he meant. The one where they had kissed for the first time._

_She made it there in record time, and was glad for the rainboots, even if they weren't the sexiest. Edward was leaning against a tree, blissful smile on his face as the rain drizzled from the leaves onto his shoulders and eyelids. He was glorious, and she observed for a minute, hardly believing he hadn't heard her crashing through the underbrush a moment ago. Long, lean body that he'd grown into so quickly, unruly bronze hair, stubble that he was so proud of… He took a drag of his cigarette and then put it out, sensing she'd joined him. He knew she hated that shit, and his pale green eyes opened, flickering with amusement. She stepped over to him once he'd blown all the smoke from his lungs, grinning cheekily at her. He also knew she'd kiss him anyway. And kiss him she did._

"Bells, seriously?" Jacob asked, nudging her out of her memory. It had been a fairly innocent memory, one that hadn't had her clutching at herself in pain. She hadn't gotten to the broken promises yet, or the innocence lost on a tree later carved with their initials. Maybe she was making progress. But still, she wasn't sure of his complaint. She was here, wasn't she? After ignoring his calls for a week?

"I'm going to be late to class because I'm driving your sorry ass to school, and you totally space out on me? I asked you like, eight questions."

It was probably only two. Eight was Jake's favorite exaggeration number. She looked at him, eyebrows raised, waiting for him to repeat them. She wasn't going to apologize, because once she started that, she doubted she would stop. And that would get old. "I said, what are you planning on doing with your free time? Maybe you'll finally join the newspaper staff?"

"I think that only counts as one question," she said, chewing on her lip. "But yeah. Maybe."

He was so blasé about Edward leaving. Like it was a mild annoyance she'd finally brushed off. Edward left. _"It would be stupid to try to make a long-distance relationship work. You're a smart girl, you know this couldn't have lasted."_

"Well, here we are. I don't regret being kind to you at all," Jacob said, in that tone that she secretly loved, the one where she still couldn't tell if he was sarcastic or not, even after all this time. It was a gift. She managed to not frown at him before nodding her thanks and getting out. He started to pull away and her eyes widened, and she lurched forward as if to knock on the window that was just out of reach. Jacob stopped, and she noticed for the first time the hope in his eyes.

"Um, are you going to get me? After school? Since… I don't have my car," she explained unnecessarily.

"Of course, Bells," he said, and looked so sad she had to throw him a bone.

"We can hang out at my place. You can distract me from my mountain of make-up work."

He nodded, barely suppressing a grin, and sped off.

Without her Jake-sized armor, the school looked a bit more daunting. She had to walk the halls without _his_ arm around her waist protectively, occasionally tickling her. She had to sit next to an empty stool in biology. An empty lunch table. She felt the desperation give way to anger for the second time that morning. He took all of her friends from her, too. Convinced her months ago that she didn't need the other girls she'd hung out with, that him and his family were fun enough to spend lunch and the weekends with. And he'd taken them with him. Of course.

She scrubbed at her face, walking into the school, resigned. It wasn't as though he had chosen to leave. But he had been so intent on getting rid of her, she couldn't help but think it was just an easy out for him.

And just the week before he'd been so pleased with her, sneaking in at night to tease each other in the dark and passing notes in biology and-

Bella realized she was holding her sides again, and people were looking at her strangely. She had the urge to scream at them. "Look at the crazy girl!" she'd yell. "The only thing I had going for me was Edward Cullen, and now he's gone!" and then she'd cackle. Because it seemed appropriate. But she wouldn't, obviously. Quiet was her modus operandi. Suffer in silence and all that. So she lifted her chin and met the eyes of a cautious Mike Newton, and then quickly averted them. Encouraging him in any way could only lead to pain for one or both of them.

Homeroom passed. So did history. _"You don't want to make it to history anyway."_ English. Lunch. Biology. She was tired of missing him. She tried to focus on something else. She missed Jacob a little, she guessed. She'd been ignoring him more and more as she got more serious with Edward, and he'd let her. But when Sam Uley had found her trying to hitch a ride home because she refused to let Edward drive her after he'd broken her heart, Jacob was suddenly in her life again. Calling every other hour. At first it had been annoying, but it gradually became comforting (though not for Charlie. It was always annoying for Charlie). She tapped her knuckles against the lockers that lined the walls as she thought about Jacob, waiting for him to make the drive from the Res school.

Jacob was refreshingly normal, after the whirlwind that was Edward Cullen. Jacob was everything she expected from moving back to her small hometown, and she loved him for it, for being such a good friend from the beginning when neither of them honestly remembered each other (or maybe that was just her). He fit into her plans seamlessly- to lead a normal, if boring, high school career. Graduate with distinction, probably, because it's not like she would be partying all the time. To have a steady boyfriend at some point, to go to a local college, maybe get teaching certified.

Bella had learned early on not to expect much. It probably happened that week she ate nothing but Hot Pockets because Renee was working late trying to scrounge up rent, or the countless jealous boyfriends of hers that would become emotionally abusive. Whatever it was, she had her defenses carefully in place: don't expect too much, or you'll be disappointed, don't show real enthusiasm, because someone can use that against you, and be careful selecting the people that would surround you.

Edward Cullen had shattered all of those defenses in one fell swoop, and then proved her right in the most painful way possible.

And Bella was a little disgusted with herself.


	3. Chapter 2 The remainder

**A/N:** Now that it's summer for me I hope to update fairly regularly, but I've never tried that before, so we'll see how it goes. It may help to note that this story is an experiment in non-linear storytelling, voice, and unreliable narrators. Thanks for reading and providing feedback :)

_The usual disclaimer-_ these characters don't belong to me, I'm just playing.

Chapter 2. The remainder

Bella lay totally still on her bed, trying to hear, to understand. She could hear Renee and Phil yelling in the next room, yelling about her. Phrases like "out of line" and "boarding school" seemed to carry louder than the rest until she pulled the blankets over her head despite the hot Phoenix May turning to June outside.

She couldn't cry—she simply couldn't seem to produce tears, despite the frustration and fear. She'd played this game before. There was just something about the men that Renee picked out that made them incapable of dealing with Bella. Total insecurity and neediness, if Bella had to guess. It wasn't even like Bella and Renee even spent that much time together, especially since she had settled down and married Phil. But still, Phil (somehow) hadn't realized that marrying Renee meant he acquired a teenage daughter figure, as well. His constant complaints about her "smart mouth" and loud music became verbal lashings whenever Renee was out of the house and tonight Bella had finally yelled back, telling him to man up and accept that she was a part of his life now even if he'd never be father material.

So that maybe hadn't been the best idea.

His eyes drew wide with disbelief but his eyebrows knitted in close until he looked comically mad, and Bella caught sight of his clenching hands just as Renee walked in the door.

And she knew that this was the end of it. Part of her wavered, laying there on the bed, wondering if she should leave Renee with a man who so obviously had anger issues. But that was just the problem, really. It should have been Renee worried about leaving her daughter alone with this man.

"Dad," she sighed into the phone an hour later, realizing how much easier it was to call him 'Dad' with Phil as comparison. "Can I come live in Forks?" She had a list of reasons ready: Forks High had better rankings than hers and gave her a better shot at college; she was tired of the extended honeymoon; she felt like a fresh start; she wanted to spend more time with him before college. But he didn't need any explanations, and when he told her what to pack (the winters were far colder so she couldn't forget her sweaters) and to have Renee call in the morning to arrange travel plans, Bella realized she shouldn't have been so relieved by this display of parental authority.

Bella had for years heard that her intelligence was her downfall. It was a confusing concept, but she'd come to accept it, even if she knew the same wouldn't have been said to her if she had been a boy. One of her rare friends in Phoenix said it was the reason Renee let Bella take care of so many "adult" responsibilities- the bills, the cooking (even though it was mostly macaroni and cheese), the errands. If Bella hadn't displayed such acumen, Renee would have to take responsibility. Bella understands that this is partly her fault. She could say no, stay out all night, get irresponsible piercings and be a general terror, but she loved her mom, and knew she was better than these things.

It was also, apparently, her intelligence that kept her bored. While her peers were content with primping and gossiping and forgetting to study until the last minute, she was bored by it all, and therefore dubbed boring by her peers. So she'd rather read a novel than go to a high school house party on a Saturday night. So she was too busy keeping on top of her studies to watch the latest episode of Vampire Diaries. If these were the things that made her boring, she gladly rejected 'exciting.'

Her own father even enforced this belief. "You're too smart for your own good," he said over burgers at the diner the night before school started, as she explained to him (in a censored manner, to protect Phil's physical well-being) the immature nature of Phil and Renee's relationship. "No wonder you're always frowning."

"Do you think smart people aren't happy?" Bella asked, having thought about this before. It was a mildly alarming concept, but she conceded that she was simply _smart_- not brilliant or genius, and maybe that meant she'd be happy one day.

Charlie shrugged. "I wouldn't know, would I?"

"You're plenty smart, Dad," she said, grinning a little over a French fry.

The first day at a new school was always a drag. Bella had been to three different high schools in Phoenix, going wherever her mom could find work- and it never got easier. Those big city schools really couldn't have prepared her for Forks High, though, which was roughly the size of her last school's cafeteria.

And Bella may be one to exaggerate, but she would honestly tell Charlie that evening that every pair of eyes was on her, and only a few were brave enough to smile or nod… fewer still actually approached (for a grand total of seven people all day, not including paid adults).

One of the few, with a long-suffering sigh, was Rosalie Hale (Aaron, she thinks his name was, informed Bella of the Hale twins earlier). "I swear, these douches get off on your indifference," she said, rather than the "Hi! Welcome to Forks!" she'd gotten from about four eager teenage boys in the last passing period.

Bella looked up, a little in awe. She'd noticed Rosalie earlier, walking nearly a head taller than the rest of the crowd in the halls on the way to first period. She could see now that it was because of her ridiculously high heels. "Do you seriously wear those to school?" she asked before she could censor herself, and Rosalie laughed. It was deep when Bella expected a giggle.

"I could ask you the same thing," Rosalie sneered at her rainboots.

"I'm not used to the rain," she said, shrugging a little. "I'd probably die in those." Terminally clumsy, Renee called her.

"Anyway," Rosalie tossed her long blonde hair, "I have an interview after school for an internship. It's all the way in Port Angeles so I had to wear this to school." She shrugged, and the halls were starting to empty, only alarming Bella a little. She knew her way to the next class. Maybe.

Rosalie noticed her distress and grabbed the schedule out of her hands. "Oh, you've Banner. Lucky lucky. This way," she said, steering Bella in the opposite direction she'd been walking. Huh. "I'm Rosalie Hale. Two things. Don't encourage Mike Newton, even a little, and get rid of the wounded puppy look. The girls in your year- well, just buck up."

Wounded puppy? Bella bristled, glaring up at the girl. "That's better," Rosalie said, nudging her to a nondescript door. Has this place even heard of door numbers?

"Why are you-" Bella started, but Rosalie was already click-clacking away, down the hall and out the side doors, presumably leaving early for her interview. She knew she must have looked bewildered. Girls never befriended her- and from Aaron's- or was it Eric's?- warning, Rosalie would have been the last one to offer advice. But she straightened her back anyway and tried not to dread another class.

If she had known what would come of her stomping into Biology, feigning total confidence, it may not have been as easy to heed Rosalie's advice. But naturally, there was no way of knowing that the only open seat in the classroom would be beside the one boy in the school that would turn her indifference into bumbling blushes and dropped pencils.

"Hi, I'm Edward Cullen," he whispered after she had finished shuffling around all of her papers in an attempt to hide how flustered she was by the way he ran his hand through his impossible hair. She glanced around, as if for confirmation that both he existed and he was talking to her. The blonde girl she'd sat with at lunch was staring slightly vacantly at him before turning to glare at Bella.

Okay, yes, he was talking to her then. She may have been more book-smart than socially adept, but she could sense the jealousy easily. "Uh, hey," she whispered back, gracefully, surprised when she turned back to him to see he was holding his hand out… to shake? "I'm Bella Swan," she said, and shook his hand, because hey, she could handle that. Except he held on for a fraction of a second too long, and she felt warm under her collar. His eyes were ridiculous. Expressive and slightly mysterious underneath thick eyebrows and then he was half-smirking at her. Was this guy real? Because it would be pretty funny if she'd finally gone crazy and was hallucinating perfect guys. It would be a pleasant kind of crazy. Better yet, how much time had passed, was class going on around her? She'd never been this distracted before.

This boy was going to be trouble for Bella. He lifted an eyebrow and turned back to the front of the class, like he heard her thoughts, and happened to agree with them. She took the opportunity to check him out in what she hoped was a discreet manner. She'd tried to dye her hair that color once, but the "auburn" had turned out crayon-red and faded after a day. He wore a plain white button down and how did he keep it so clean? She could make out strong shoulders under his shirt and wondered if he played sports or worked out. She glanced back at her text book, open randomly, and blushed a little before glancing over to see what page he was on and catching up. Oh, good, She'd studied this before.

Maybe he wouldn't be that _much _trouble, then.


End file.
